Parents: To Be or Not To Be

I remember someone as saying, "Before I got married, I had nine rules on how to bring up children.  But now, I have nine children and no rules."  Yep, this is what parenting is all about in many cases.  Each child is unique and special, that what is applicable for one is not necessarily applicable for another.  Although we try to be good parents, there are times when we feel 'beat' and inadequate or unable to cope with parenting.

On the flip side, there are many golden rules that also hold fast for children of all ages; some of which can be discipline, or teaching children to tell the truth, be clean, show respect towards others, etcetera. Before I proceed with my discussion about the topic, I'd like to welcome Ann Marie Dwyer to grace my pages for this week with her invaluable feedback on the world of parenting. Lets give it up for Ann Marie (Red as she calls herself) and read what she has to say. 

Writer of the Week

Ann Marie "Red" Dwyer

Ann Marie "Red" Dwyer is Momma to ten children and engaged to a man who will bring an additional five children to the brood. She homeschools the two youngest children, who are both autistic. Her experience spans parenting from pregnancy to grave, including toddlers, teens and grandchildren. She writes on diverse aspects of the struggle of parenting from fertility issues to discipline to the empty nest. Her blog offers tips and tricks from saving money and time while tackling some of the difficulties of parenting. 

Alongside parenting, Red has been a woman of diverse professional skills that have helped her keep her family intact and fed.  Should you want to know how to balance your family life with children while trying to keep your professional side sane, Momma Red has answers for your concerns.  You will find more about her interactions with others regarding parenting at her blog Momma's Money Matters. If you have a question, feel free to ask her via the blog or email.

Baby sleeping patterns

Building stronger bonds between siblings

How taking birth control pills may affect fertility or infertility

At the onset of 'parenting', the mother has to go through the stages of pregnancy (except with cases of adoption).  A lot of complications happen many times because the mother is not aware of what is expected of her for the initial delivery, and how her co-operation can make for a more healthy delivery.  Dr. Pandula Siribaddana writes about the stages of labor and delivery that every 'first-time mother' should be aware of.  Miraculous Pregnancy by M. J, Joachim also deals with the same topic with a Trimester-wise account of what to expect.

In days gone by, the 'dad' was not allowed to enter the labor room while the 'mom' struggled with labor pains.  The most common scene depicting the dad during this time was his anxious, impatient, to-and-fro pace outside the delivery room.  However, these days, it has become necessary that the 'dad' take an active role in not just being by the delivery table, but also in the exercising program designed for the 'pregnant mom'.   Is your husband scared of the result of you being pregnant?  Does he feel left out from all the 'pregnancy fun' (- the backaches, the tiredness... etc. etc.)?  Why not let him be part of your nine-month trip down pre-mom-hood with these helpful tips for including husbands during childbirth and delivery?   I had to smile when I read this article.  There are many 'husbands' who would willingly claim ignorance.  (They can't try their luck now, can they?)

Yep, your baby's born.  Now the actual fun part begins.  Who's turn is it to change the baby's diaper? (Suddenly there's no one in sight but you, the mom.)  I loved this next article on 'how to change a baby's diaper'.  Kathrine Mills very humorously starts the article 'It strikes terror in the hearts of grown men, makes the most dependable person run in disgust and even the kindred mother's heart turn away in fear'.  Uh oh... terror in the heart of grown men?  Now come on, surely you aren't scared of changing your baby's diaper?  (Yep, you sensed right.  An evil smirk from me again.)


With babies, arrive the next topic: Why breast feeding in public should not be a controversial issue.  I loved a pic that 'Red' passed around  on Facebook yesterday, which illustrated an ill-clad woman (yes, with almost-totally revealing breasts) at a restaurant , and a breast-feeding mom.  The image spoke volumes to me.  Why is it that women who expose their breasts (please excuse my candid approach to this topic) by the way they are ill-clothed, totally acceptable in social circles, while a mom who has to breast-feed her baby as and when the baby demands it, is not acceptable?  I do not understand the logic behind it.  A 'Warped Social Mindset'  is how I can think of labeling it.

While 'abortions' have been legalized in many places, and with Planned Parenthood assisting many abortions, it would be careless of me not to mention this article 'No Escape: Abortion Unveiled'.  Parenting begins at the point of conception, so it will be worthwhile to take a look at this article to understand the procedure involved in an abortion and what a pregnant mother or anticipating father can expect when opting to abort their baby.  It is your decision in the end; so make it the best one while you're at it.

While on the topic of autism, since Red mentions 'autism' in particular, I've added a couple of articles related to this illness and what one may expect from an autistic child.  Autism is a mental health illness that has been looked at in a very negative way by the public in general all over the world. There are three main areas that affect the child  - speech, stereotype behavior and memory.  When there is a deviation from expected childhood milestones, a parent can expect their child to probably fall under this category.  Like any other physical illness such as diabetes or heart problems, autism too needs to be medically treated on a long term basis.  It may be unfortunate for a child to suffer thus, or for parents to have to deal with it, but having a stigma attached to it, is the last thing that one needs when dealing with this pediatric illness.  The most astonishing part though; these kids have such beautiful memory power, its amazing at how easy they can grasp things and remember them for life.  These attached articles on autism gives a mom's (Glory Lennon's) viewpoint and approach to dealing with autism.  Also attached is an article by Dr. Deborah Bauers.

Recognizing autism in toddlers - by Glory Lennon
Recognizing autism in toddlers - by Dr. Deborah Bauers
Tips for easing anxiety about outings for children with autism - by Glory Lennon
Autism:  Special love for a special child - by Glory Lennon
Acceptance issues with autistic children: Parents and the world - by Glory Lennon
Funny parenting stories (autism) - by Glory Lennon



Illnesses aside, many first-time parents are not aware of what to expect from their baby as he/she progresses into toddler-hood.  Parents can be taken by surprise or are not adept enough to deal with 'sudden' movements or mischief as we may call it, by a toddler.  How to keep children safe while playing by Karen Louise Hollis is an article that highlights different phases of childhood and what is in store for parents and children alike.  This was an interesting read and informative.



What about teenagers?  Many moms curse the fact that they hit menopause just about the time their child hits the prime age of 'teenage'.  There can be a better balance with dealing with your teenager if you have the right outlook and know what to look out for.  Understanding your independent teenager which is part of Effectively Human centers around important aspects such as observance, awareness and communication, which are vital to dealing with a teenager without losing your sanity.

Since we are discussing the many aspects of parenting, it becomes necessary to discuss one aspect of parenting which has been vital to many couples: Adoption.  So many couples all over the world have found completion and fulfillment of married life by adopting children, especially in cases when either of them have had reproductive issue. Now here's the part that many couples are scared of initially:  Is it possible to unconditionally love an adopted child?   The answer might not be surprising...  but it is worthwhile taking time to read this article by Carol Gioia and  think of all the children who have been adopted and the families that have been enriched by them. In my opinion, it can be unconditional love if one chooses to love unconditionally... and similar with the case of an adopted child.

My tip for this week....  those who are planning on getting married should definitely watch the movie 'Licence to Wed'.  This movie says it all.  :))))  Are you up to the challenge?


This is me signing out for this week.  Next week's post is on 'Local Guides'.  I request readers to write in 'with 5-8 sentence blurbs' about the place (city/town, NOT COUNTRY) you live in, telling me why I should visit your place.  If you have a 'local guide article' or a pic to add to your blurb, I would be more than happy to accept them for my post.  Please send your entries to writer_amanda@yahoo.com  .  Entries from your locations all across the globe are welcome. :)

Image credits:
Holding hands
Parenting skills
Autism
Adoption
Abortion

Education: Happy Teacher's Day

Happy Teacher's Day

The next channel up for review is the Education Channel.

Incidentally it coincides with a very important day for an Indian as it is Teacher's Day in India (September 5th). Most countries have their own day, while the UNESCO has declared October 5th to be World Teacher's Day. Being an Indian, I take great pride in honoring my teachers today, past and present who have helped shape the person I am today.

That said, there are two people who top my list of teachers. The first person is my mother, Arlene Mittra. Yes, parents, especially moms, are our first teachers, but she is also a teacher by training. Having taught for approximately twenty two years in schools, she still interacts with children, more so, her grandchildren... playing with them, singing to them, looking after them and also indirectly teaching them so many things a young individual has to learn. When we were kids, she was always there for us... in school and at home. Boring, you might say to have her at home and school; but not in the least. We've had so much fun together. Mom used to make craft project come alive with getting us involved in it. She'd let us do out parts to pitch in with teaching aids and creating props for the dramas and plays. And she was there for us as we entered the different competitions or wrote our exams. As we grew older and moved out to college too, she was our confidant. My sisters and I were in three different batches and we'd contest against each other at the College level competitions. Mom was the one to know who was singing what song, or dancing to a particular tune.... and she was not to let out our secret to the other. I'm sure she must have had a good giggle over all this. For now I'll just say "Happy Teacher's Day, Mom. You've been the best teacher ever."

The next is my late Grandmother Pearl Heldt. She was a teacher for close to fifty years of her life; and an excellent teacher at that. She was one who loved to learn; always learning something new each day. I remember her teaching me Rabindranath Tagore's quote one time, 'Woman is the builder and molder of a nation's destiny. Though soft and frail as a lily, she has a heart far bolder and stronger than a man'. Funny I should still remember it... but that was my Nana teaching me that at one time. For a country like India, where girls in villages are still denied the right of education, Nana Pearl was one who studied as she taught. She held a triple bachelor's degree (acquired at different times) and triple Masters Degrees; many of which were after us grandchildren had passed toddlerhood. One thing I know; I've definitely picked up her talent for pen and paper, always wanting to write. She was a person full of stories and dreams. There was a time when she wanted to publish stories. At times she would let us in on her stories and we'd laugh at the weird names she'd give her characters. One of her story telling talents was to tell ghost stories that haunted one's mind for days. And she loved children. She was always seen with children around her. If not her school kids it was us grandkids. And she made sure we knew that she was mighty proud of us; always surprising us with treats, gifts and rewards. Happy Teacher's Day to you too Nana Pearl. I know you're reading this and smiling. :))) Eternal rest give unto her O Lord.

From our batch of friends, there are quite a few writers who are excellent teachers in their respective fields. The first one that comes to mind is E. J. Young. If you do not know E.J., find her heart as a teacher in her own words... "Her 20 years of experience as a public school teacher in metro and small town classes in the Midwest provide a unique perspective on the strengths in today's classrooms. Based on her personal experience in traditional and alternative settings, current research, methodology and educational background, she believes changes in the educational system are needed. To that end, she writes white papers, reviews strategies and methods, examines new programs and writes other articles related to education focused on improving the learning environment for all students."

Education doesn't just mean rote learning or being taught word for word on scholastic curriculum. It also involves the sharing of life's experiences for others to learn from. Take for example E.J's story Amy's Angel. It is a story of a mom's pain arising from a suffering child. Here is a lesson to be understood and valued. Her story, Amy's Angel, is an entry for a Writing Contest and I urge you to take a look at it and vote in favor of our dear E. J. Young.

The next person on my list of our writer-teachers is R. Renee Bembry.

She says, "Although a little embarrassed for winding up in newspapers across several states for participating in a literacy program in which I, still a grade-schooler myself, helped younger children learn to read, I always prided myself for my ability to reach younger children. Joy in teaching children likely deserves credit for all the parent-teacher conferences I attended over the years wherein the teachers told me my kids were very well-rounded; and for a good part of the conference time we discussed other things because it isn't always easy to find helpful critiques to suggest for children who are already rapidly excelling.

All this might sound a bit like horn-tooting, however, I believe that all children can do great in school when they have someone helping and supporting them along the way. For this reason, I like repeating versions of this story whenever I have a chance to share it with others.

I believe that instilling in their brains, practically from birth, that educating themselves is the most important thing children could ever do in their lives, is the best way to encourage them to shine like stars in the night.

Once my last child entered middle school, the older ones thought I should back off, and try becoming less attending unless my daughter asked for help. Although agreeing with this strategy, I knew it would be difficult because I had been 'home-schooling' kids for so many years. Fortunately, after volunteering to give a poetry-writing presentation to a fifth grade class, a teacher suggested I turn the program into a business and so I did.

I have given several classroom presentations and tutored children privately since starting my children's poetry program, which is not only about writing, but also about using poetry to improve reading, writing, and comprehension skills.

Find an overview of my program at MyStoriesAndPoems.com; have a peek at my free e-book about sharing by following this link Children's Stories - Sharing Lesson, and find a list of educational articles I have written at Helium.com R. Renée Articles. Also, find my smart babies zone that incorporates my methods for teaching babies to become educationally successful here How to raise a smart baby to become a successful student and my first ever kids' poetry website here FunnyPoemsForKids.com.

The last of of my writer-teacher picks is none other than home-schooler Ann Hinds. Here's what Ann shares. "Our grandson is 10-years old. Most of my travel is currently to the baseball field. This year we have decided to home-school and I will miss the volunteering in the classroom. Working with children who need extra attention is so much fun. When you help them grasp a concept that has eluded them, their joy is contagious. There is never a lack of writing material. No longer dealing with school volunteering, fund-raising and bullying, there are new topics to learn and research. Each situation provides more topics and insights."

How to keep kids busy with salt dough art is an example of Ann's knack for teaching kids the potential of crafts.

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There are a lot of writing material that stresses on the importance of learning. Take for example Angela S. Young's article How to prepare your child for the first day of school. In this article, she takes the reader through many practical steps that are vital for the preparedness of the child. Many times as parents we do not understand the pressures that children are under, the images of danger that might be haunting their minds or the anxiety that we pass onto them when admitting them to their very first school. A very good write; this article is a must for every parent who has a toddler entering school.

Talk about chaos in the classroom. Student behavior in the classroom these days seem to be getting from bad to worse, with violence on the rise and weapons in kids' pockets. Dealing with student behavior challenges in the classroom can be quite a task for a teacher; and this guide takes the teacher through some basic challenges and how to deal with them. Although its simple and common knowledge, not many teachers grasp the value of remembering children's names. Remembering a child's name can bring about tremendous improvement in behavior and also creates a bond between the teacher and student.

Many times teachers can be earnest in their attempts to teach children how to read and write. Or they may be impatient or unconcerned. I remember, when my daughter was in the second grade, she disliked her class teacher totally. She used to sulk a lot about her teacher and always quote the different negative comments the teacher would say about her reading and spelling. Even when it was time for her to be promoted to the next class, she'd say things like "You are not fit to go to the next class. You are so bad in your reading and spelling that you will be detained and called Aunty Ruth by the next class children that join you." Perhaps she should have been trained on how to be an effective reading support teacher, to help my daughter instead of criticizing her the whole year. Ironically, Ruth used to write stories online when she was at home. Talk about being slow in spellings. Even then she achieved what her classmates had not yet ventured out into.

Most dedicated teachers will stress on the need for discipline in the classroom. Without disciple, all teaching is in vain. Either the student will not grasp anything that is taught, or the teaching methods too of the teacher will be a confusion. Disciple is a method of building character, confidence and the wholeness of a young individual, which begins with the discipline of the teacher. Olivia Kay takes us through her ideas of classroom discipline with her article 'How to instill positive discipline and effective classroom rules". Every teacher can benefit from being reminded of these simple yet effective steps to building classroom discipline.

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Other education-related articles that are worth reading:

How teachers can use art and music education to help children heal from trauma and crisis - by Rachelle de Bretagne

Teacher's guide for parents offering to help at school: What parents should and should not do - by Colette Georgii

Teacher tips for parents: Best steps to help foster positive student-teacher relationship - by Christina Pomoni

Why you shouldn't let fear stop you from going back to school - by Sun Meilan

How young children can handle bullies - by Wilson Burrell

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Once again, to teachers in India and all over the world - A Happy Teacher's Day to you!

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